Some trauma is Big, others are small. Big trauma include things like car accidents; surgery; sexual assault; and violence. Natural disasters, war – (fighting in or running from); LGBTQ coming out; death (including a pet); abandonment; religious trauma; and others.
Small trauma may include: job change; moving; divorce (can also be big); partner break-up; injury and illness. Self-esteem; significant birthday; being sued; birth of a child; family illness; family dysfunction; and others.
In my practice, I specialize in trauma of all sorts, particularly long term trauma from family dysfunction. Trauma happens to, and is carried in, the entire body; not in the brain alone. I utilize an effective therapy known as EMDR, Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing. This therapy is recommended for PTSD, which most trauma will cause. I also use EFT Emotional Freedom Tapping; this therapy is more cognitive oriented and can be specifically tailored to your past challenges or towards a more confident and desired future.
ANXIETY & DEPRESSION
Do you feel you are balancing on a wiggling rock in the rushing river of life? Do you worry other’s notice you are a little off balance? Anxiety can do that to all of us at one time or another. Although anxiety can be helpful at times, when it is a constant companion, it can be overwhelming and draining. Constantly being off balance can lead to depression and the desire to isolate. Anxiety and depression often go hand in hand, one leading to the other.
There are many tools and behaviors to help one learn to manage them both. To start, it helps to explore and discover any link to what may be causing your inner unrest. Often it turns out to be an old trauma of some sort, and sometimes a dysfunctional childhood. Both EMDR and EFT can assist you to uncover links and then create new links to your preferred behavior patterns. This will lead you to living with reduced stress and fewer anxious episodes.
Relationships can harm and hurt us. But they can also heal us. Life is made of relationships, you can’t get away from them. The most important relationship you have, is the one with yourself. That will effect all other relationships and ultimately your entire life. It’s important to explore, know and respect your personal values and natural strengths, as well as what brings you joy and pleasure.
Communication is the key to all relationships, even with yourself. What you constantly say about yourself, to yourself or others, creates who you are. Communication is difficult. It’s learned in early life from parents, parental figures, siblings or teachers. Often these role models may not have communicated well at all. Learning and practicing effective communication skills may be the number one component of achieving healthy, working, relationships with self, family, peers, employees or employers and even strangers.
SCRIPTING YOUR FUTURE
As a child, a majority of your choices were probably made for you; by parents or guardians. Then there were teachers, schools, peers, life events (both joyful and tragic), society and personal expectations.
What you do with your future is up to you and the choices you make going forward.
When you recognize and accept that you are the director of your life, you can choose to write your own script.To do this you will benefit from exploring your personal strengths and values. Acknowledging those will help you to create a life that utilizes and enhances your natural talents.
Knowing these, can also help you to develop non-negotiable boundaries or agreements with yourself and others. This includes the need to set boundaries in order to create the life you prefer to live. Boundaries are important in successful relationships with others and yourself. They include: emotional, physical, financial / material, sexual, spiritual / religious, and time boundaries.
One does not HAVE to fall in line with parental or societal expectations in order to live their own unique, satisfying and rewarding life. What that life is and how to live it, is something we can explore together. Then develop the behaviors and goals to achieve that life.